Take a look at the code for the Google Sitemap Generator Plugin for Wordpress. A lot of people use that and it does not seem to slow things down enough to notice. Whatever methodology they are using should be a good place to start.
As of 2015, Google no longer suggests a rate limit in their documentation.
It is in Google's best interest to know when fresh articles are created so it is worth pinging them with your sitemap, or at least some kind of "Fresh Articles" sitemap when new articles are published.
Googlebot will request your sitemap every time your ping it. It sends requests headers to check the newness of the resource. So if you plan on submitting a sitemap frequently, make sure your server will handle the request correctly. Otherwise, you might return a 304 (Not Modified) and Googlebot won't actually get the file.
There is no need to resubmit sitemaps anymore. According to Google this approach is outdated since 2020:
Resubmit a sitemap
You shouldn't need to resubmit a sitemap that we already know about, even if you've changed it. Google will notice any changes the next time we crawl your site.
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是的，Google 允许使用该方法。
向以下 URL 发出您的请求：
www.google.com/webmasters/tools/ping?sitemap=sitemap_url
例如，如果您的站点地图位于 http://www.example.com/sitemap.gz，您的网址将变为：
www.google.com/webmasters/tools/ping?sitemap=http://www.example.com/sitemap.gz
URL 对 /ping?sitemap= 之后的所有内容进行编码：
www.google.com/webmasters/tools/ping?sitemap=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yoursite.com%2Fsitemap.gz
使用 wget、curl 或您选择的其他机制发出 HTTP 请求。
添加：
根据我刚刚给出的链接，其中有一个信息，谷歌说：
Yes, that method is allowed by google.
Issue your request to the following URL:
www.google.com/webmasters/tools/ping?sitemap=sitemap_url
For example, if your Sitemap is located at http://www.example.com/sitemap.gz, your URL will become:
www.google.com/webmasters/tools/ping?sitemap=http://www.example.com/sitemap.gz
URL encode everything after the /ping?sitemap=:
www.google.com/webmasters/tools/ping?sitemap=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yoursite.com%2Fsitemap.gz
Issue the HTTP request using wget, curl, or another mechanism of your choosing.
ADDED:
Based on the link I just given, there is an info in there, google says:
查看 Google 站点地图生成器插件<的代码/a> 用于 WordPress。很多人都使用它，但它似乎并没有减慢速度，足以引起人们的注意。无论他们使用什么方法，都应该是一个很好的起点。
Take a look at the code for the Google Sitemap Generator Plugin for Wordpress. A lot of people use that and it does not seem to slow things down enough to notice. Whatever methodology they are using should be a good place to start.
自 2015 年起，Google 不再在其文档中建议速率限制。
了解何时创建新文章符合 Google 的最大利益，因此值得使用您的站点地图（或者至少在新文章发布时使用某种“新鲜文章”站点地图）对其进行 ping 操作。
每次您 ping 时，Googlebot 都会请求您的站点地图。它发送请求标头来检查资源的新旧程度。因此，如果您打算频繁提交站点地图，请确保您的服务器能够正确处理请求。否则，您可能会返回 304（未修改），并且 Googlebot 实际上不会获取该文件。
As of 2015, Google no longer suggests a rate limit in their documentation.
It is in Google's best interest to know when fresh articles are created so it is worth pinging them with your sitemap, or at least some kind of "Fresh Articles" sitemap when new articles are published.
Googlebot will request your sitemap every time your ping it. It sends requests headers to check the newness of the resource. So if you plan on submitting a sitemap frequently, make sure your server will handle the request correctly. Otherwise, you might return a 304 (Not Modified) and Googlebot won't actually get the file.
无需再重新提交站点地图。 根据 Google 的说法，这种方法自 2020 年以来已过时：
您可以查看这篇文章：使用站点地图报告管理您的站点地图 http://web.archive.org/。
2020：
2016：
There is no need to resubmit sitemaps anymore. According to Google this approach is outdated since 2020:
You can check this article: Manage your sitemaps using the Sitemaps report in http://web.archive.org/.
2020:
2016:
当帖子更新时，Yoast 插件会自动 ping Google 和 Bing。
来源
The Yoast plugin automatically pings Google and Bing when a post is updated.
Source