您遇到过的最有趣的用户请求是什么？
用户有时会提出最有趣、最奇怪、最奇妙的需求，让程序员去设计和实现。
今天，我读到老板的一份备忘录，说我们需要“能够轻松快速地导入任何 Excel 或访问数据，无论数据大小如何。”
在同一份备忘录中，我们要求“知道是否有人未经授权访问了系统”——就好像黑客要把他的电话卡夹在索引和外键之间的某个地方一样。
我认为我的老板看太多了《星际迷航》... :)
你遇到过的最有趣的用户请求是什么？
Users sometimes come up with the most amusing, weird and wonderful requirements for programmers to design and implement.
Today I read a memo from my boss that we need the "ability to import any excel or access data, irrespective of size, easily and quickly."
From the same memo, we have a requirement to "know if anyone unauthorized accessed the system" - as if a hacker is going to leave his calling card wedged between an index and a foreign key somewhere.
I think my boss has been watching too much "Star Trek"... :)
What's the funniest user request you've ever had?
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评论（16）
“日历真的很难用，每个月的天数都不一样，能麻烦你把它们改成一样的天数吗？”
"The calendars are really difficult to use, since there is a different number of days in each month. Could you please change them to have the same number of days?"
我的客户要求他的网站上当前的白色太正常了。 我引用“我想要 Facebook 和 Google 的光泽白色”
我想知道这是否有效：
main.css
My client demanded that on his website the current white is too normal. And I quote "I want the glossy white of Facebook and Google"
I wonder if this would work:
main.css
客户：“我真的很喜欢我的网站和 Google，但当我的笔记本电脑没有互联网连接时，我需要它们。您可以将它们刻录到 CD 上，以便我可以离线使用它们吗？”
我：“我可以为您的网站制作一个离线版本，但它的功能会受到限制。但是，我无法使 Google 离线可用。通过硬件和月度合同，可以通过数据卡按月付费在任何地方上网。 . 你必须通过 ATT 或 Sprint 或类似的方式每月支付大约 60 美元。”
客户：“我开始对你的能力感到失望了。”
Client: "I really like my website and Google but I need them both when my laptop doesn't have an internet connection. Can you burn them to a cd so I can use them offline?"
Me: "I can make an offline version of your site but it would have limited functionality. I can't however make Google available offline. It is possible with hardware and a monthly contract to get internet anywhere for a monthly fee with a data card. You'd have to pay around $60/month for it through ATT or Sprint or something like that."
Client: "I'm starting to become disappointed with your capabilities."
“我们知道服务器有时会宕机，但我们希望它永远不会宕机”
"We know the server goes down sometimes, but we want it to never go down"
“你能确保我们的销售额至少增长 131% 吗？这将使我们领先于去年。”
"can you make sure our sales increase by at least 131%? that would put us ahead of last year."
“在选中启用按钮单击的复选框后，我们需要使按钮可单击。”
"We need the button to be clickable after the checkbox to enable the button clicks is checked."
以下情况在同一个人身上多次发生...
数据输入操作员（在远程站点）： 你能修理我的终端吗？ 它不会打开。
我：上次您打电话解决这个问题时，电源已被拔掉，您能检查一下吗？
数据输入操作员：已插入！
那么我开车到远程站点，我发现了什么？ 当然是未插电的终端！ 我把它插上，效果很好。
The following happened multiple times with the same person ...
Data Entry Operator (at remote site): Can you fix my terminal? It won't turn on.
ME: Last time you called with this problem it was unplugged, can you please check that?
Data Entry Operator: It's plugged in!
So I drive to the remote site and what do I find? An unplugged terminal, of course! I plugged it in, and it worked just fine.
项目经理：“我们需要你列出这个项目中所有未知风险的清单。”
Project Manager: "We need you to make a list of all unknown risks on this project."
替代文本http://img360.imageshack.us/img360/1020/dilbert2030557071204cr8.gif
alt text http://img360.imageshack.us/img360/1020/dilbert2030557071204cr8.gif
我们的一个程序可以让普通人操作相当复杂的视频分发系统。 它使用视频源（VCR、DVD 播放器等）的代表性图片直观地指示后端发生的情况。这些图形非常详细； 录像机上有一个琥珀色的小显示屏，用 7 段 LED 字体显示“12:00”。 一位用户要求我们让它闪烁。 另一个要求我们让它显示当前时间。
刘海头放在桌子上
One of our programs lets normal people manipulate a fairly complex video distribution system. It visually indicates what's going on on the back end using representative pictures of the video sources -- VCRs, DVD players, etc. These graphics are very detailed; the VCR has a little amber display on it, saying "12:00" in a 7-segment LED font. One user asked us to make it blink. Another asked us to make it show the current time.
bangs head on desk
我的编程团队编写了一个与遗留会计系统接口的内部网。 基本上，我们正在编写一个漂亮的 ASP.NET 前端来保护用户不必与终端系统交互。
无论如何，我们的一位测试人员注意到我们的登录代码接受任何密码，只要前 8 个字符正确即可。 测试人员创建了一个密码为“Password”的用户，但应用程序将验证“Password1”、“PasswordMonkey”、“PasswordFakeFakeFakehahahah”。 因此，我们的测试人员将此记录为缺陷。 一些调查显示，旧系统将密码存储在固定宽度的 8 个字符字段中，并且它只是悄悄地将查询截断为 8 个字符。 快速测试表明，这个错误也存在于会计系统中，但 20 年来一直没有引起人们的注意。
我们无法修改遗留应用程序，因为它是由第三方供应商维护的，因此我编写了一个快速
if (password.Length > 8) { return false; } }就我们而言——毕竟，超过 8 个字符的密码不可能是正确的。 错误已修复，质量检查结束。因此，当我们的应用程序投入生产时，我们会收到来自一位客户总裁的“紧急！！用户无法登录其帐户！！！”类型的消息。 事实证明，州法律或公司政策要求所有密码长度至少为 12 个字符，修复后所有用户都无法使用我们的产品。
我们解释说，会计系统根本不会存储超过 8 个字符的任何内容，如果用户只键入前 8 个字符，一切都会很顺利。 “不可接受！” 好的，然后我们可以在文本框上设置最大长度，将输入限制为有效的字符范围。 “白痴！以前运行得很好，现在修复它！” 我们的客户与我公司的总裁发生了争吵，威胁如果我们不修复应用程序就更换供应商。
因此，我“修复”了应用程序，注释掉了健全性检查并重新引入了该错误。 在 ASP.NET 前端中使用与终端后端相同的身份验证代码并不是一个不合理的请求，但故意重新调试应用程序确实令人不安。
My programming team wrote an intranet which interfaced with a legacy accounting system. Basically, we were writing a pretty ASP.NET front end to protect users from having to interface with the terminal system.
In any case, one of our testers noticed that our login code accepted any password, so long as the first 8 characters were correct. A tester created a user with the password "Password", but the application would validate "Password1", "PasswordMonkey", "PasswordFakeFakeFakehahahah". So, our tester logged this as a defect. Some investigation revealed that the legacy system stored passwords in fixed-width, 8 char field, and it just quietly truncates queries to 8 characters. A quick test indicated that this bug existed in the accounting system as well and simply went unnoticed for 20 years.
We were unable to modify the legacy application as it was maintained by a third-party vendor, so I wrote a quick
if (password.Length > 8) { return false; }on our end -- after all, a password more than 8 chars can't possibly be correct. Bug fixed, QA signs off.So, when our application goes into production, we get an "URGENT!! USER'S CAN'T LOG IN TO THEIR ACCOUNTS!!!"-type message from the president of one of our customers. It turns out that state law or company policy required all passwords to be at least 12 characters long, and none of the users were able to use our product after the fix.
We explained that the accounting system simply doesn't store anything beyond 8 characters, and that everything will be peachy if users just type the first 8 characters. "UNACCEPTABLE!" Ok, then we can put a maxlength on the textbox, limiting the input to just the valid range of characters. "IMBECILES! IT WORKED JUST FINE BEFORE, NOW FIX IT!" Our customer got into a shouting match with the president of my company, threatening the change vendors if we didn't fix application.
So, I "fixed" the application commenting out the sanity check and reintroduced the bug. Its not an unreasonable request to have authentication code in the ASP.NET front-end authenticate the same as the terminal backend, but its really disconcerting to purposefully re-bug an application.
看看这个名为来自地狱的客户的博客，
那里有一些非常“好的”博客。
Take a look at this blog called Clients From Hell
There are some really "good" ones on there.
“我刚刚删除了一条客户端数据记录，可以从回收站恢复吗？”
有些人不明白，当一条记录被删除时，它就被删除了。 这就是“删除”的意思，尤其是当他们没有要求我们构建“取消删除”功能时。
"I just deleted a client data record. Can you restore it from the Recycle Bin?"
Some people don't understand that when a record is deleted, it's deleted. That's kinda what "deleted" means, especially when they didn't ask for us to build an "un-delete" feature.
“我希望没有人能够截取这个网页的屏幕截图。”
说实话，这就是客户的需求。
然而，最变态的事情是，我真的找到了一个解决方案（一个，这让我更加讨厌“Javascript”......）。
哦，这个解决方案是防猴的。
"I want that no one can take a screenshot of this webpage."
Seriously, this was the demand from the customer.
The most perverted thing about this was, however, that I REALLY found a solution (one, that made me hate "Javascript" even more...).
Oh, the solution was monkey - proof.
客户：“您确定已实时推送最后一次副本编辑吗？”
程序员：“是的，它已经上线并且我测试了它。”
客户：“我刚刚看了，它仍然显示旧的副本文本。”
程序员：“您是否尝试清除浏览器缓存？”
客户：“那是什么？我该怎么做？难道你不能让网站为我做这个吗？”
Client: "Are you sure you pushed the last copy edit live?"
Programmer: "Yes it is live and I tested it."
Client: "I just looked and it still shows the old copy text."
Programmer: "Did you try clearing your browser cache?"
Client: "What's that? How do I do that? Can't you just have the site do that for me?"
我们的一位客户将他的信用卡放入FDD（软盘驱动器）中使用；
one of our clients put his credit card in the FDD(floppy disk drive) to use it;